Hope in the Journey..

When I saw this picture, I thought to myself, TOTALLY ME! And even my husband and people who know me, know that I'm always fascinated with the finish line and don't really like the journey, and don't like seeing it! It's not that it's because it's hard, it's because something psychologically tells me that I need to hurry, to do it fast, to be the best! Kind of like a competitive conscience I can't seem to turn off! It's funny cause I'm not very competitive at all. Anyway, I don't delight in the journey. It really is like with everything, I don't really care for road-trips because I have alway thought them boring, too long to get somewhere that can possibly take a shorter time with another route, i.e. plane! I'd rather sit in a plane for 1 1/2 hours to Utah then drive the 9-10 hrs in a car. WEIRD and SELFISH this may sound, I know! But all in all, maybe it's because I have always viewed life like that; I always DREAM. 

Dreaming is good, and I highly encourage dreaming! Dreaming expands your mind to new dimensions, new possibilities, ideas and creativity! It's a beautiful process that I seriously treasure, dreaming is my journey, yet I need to come down to reality and know that my dreams in that instant are not real, yet, how do I make these things real? That is truly enjoying each moment inspired, through the difficult decisions, the manual labor, the sleepless nights, the integrity, the mocking/laughing, the sweat, the memorization, the pressure, and seeing at that finish line, how much of a diamond you've become. 

I have the Zillow Apps on my phone, and I created a query to tell me when new homes in a certain area have popped up and let me know the price and info for contact and such to rent and or buy. Havea and I are in NO POSITION yet to buy a home, but to see that physically, knowing my dream, to own a home, I know it will happen someday. So how is it that I can go about building my dreams? 

Well, we, Havea and I, are attending school through BYU-Idahos, Pathway Program. I will be working towards my bachelors degree and my husband will be working towards his Associates first. This is how we are going to get our dream home, by getting an education! This road we are starting our journey on this year, is going to be very rough, very challenging, and very hard, but I know that we can do it, and I know this "road-trip" is worth it, every cent put into it, every mile driven through it! We are on our way to success, and on our way to change our lives, the lives of our children, and future posterity. I'm so grateful for this inspired program and for the way in which the Gospel, yet again has provided opportunities to help sustain us members, to help provide opportunities for growth, for improvement, to help us reach our dreams. 

I'm delighting in this journey, and I'm evermore excited because my husband and I will be doing it together-hand in hand, one step at a time. 

Summer Days

It's been quite an interesting kick off to summer.. and though life seems calm, I'm prepared for the insane busy-ness we will be receiving. Music Jobs, Family Trips (more like stay-cations), beach nights, s'mores, bomb-fires, snuggling, temple nights, Zoee dates, family, etc. 

Summer is my favorite time to reconnect with life and family, and just "hakuna-matata!" 

Well going with the Lion King theme, my little one, like Simba in the movie is more curious then curious George! She is moving into things more quickly, her personality is fiesty, maturing and sweet, she's like chipotle, sweet and spicy :) lol.. Funny analogies I know, but I can help it. She is starting to potty train and more so herself, and it's been quite easy on me. So I'm grateful for that. She has taught me so much more and our relationship as mother and daughter has grown tremendously and she has established more the mere fact that I'm "mommy" and that we belong together. It's a comfort to feel that bond and to have it strengthened. I may be a terrible mother for admitting that, but it's true! #confessionsofamoderndaymommy 

I know that a lot of things have distracted me from really seeing my potential, really progressing in my life, and a lot of that has to do with my depression, but all in all, my husband has been my biggest support. I'm grateful for him bringing light to my life, and showing me love in my most difficult forms. He's so patient, and I hope to achieve that level of patience in my life, someday. I'm so grateful that I married him, and this year for our 3rd anniversary, I hope to show him fully how much I love him, I'm grateful for #thedatingdivas and #pinterest for helping me with ideas :) thank you in advance :) 

This summer my goal is to loose 30lbs and just start breathing! Breathing in life, and exhaling death. Dead emotions, dead thoughts, dead feelings, dead energy. Start breathing in each moment as if it were my last, breath in fresh air, to rejuvenate and refresh my body, to heal, to strengthen, to enlighten. 

So my next posts for the next couple of months will be my progress on these things :) 

This WILL be the FIRST summer I actually ENJOY! :) Happy Summer Friends and Family! Love you All!