Moments

Moments define a measure of time in which things may or may not happen. Sometimes the unexpected, sometimes expected, whichever it is a moment can depict a change. Big or small, more or less.

18 months ago, I experienced a moment that would change my life in so many ways. It would encourage my adulthood to validate itself in knowing that what was about to happen, what was going to happen, and in present tense, what did happen, opened my view, I could see a more panoramic view of what my life would entail. What things to change, what to bring in, what to get rid of, let go. What things were going to be ok? What things were not? How would I act? How did I even qualify to get this far in my life?

So many questions?

On Monday, August 8th, 2011, 5:23am, my life changed drastically! I don't mean horrifying, I mean the biggest change was about to make history for me. I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful, loving baby girl, whom we call, Zoee. In one moment I was a wife, the next, simply a wife and mother. Mother. I couldn't believe that someone like me now had that title. I have always dreamed of having a big family, a husband who goes to work, while I play house and mind the house chores, take care of the children, I seriously imagined 10 kids! Others may call me crazy, but that's what I wanted. Zoee has brought so much to my life in so many ways, and I know that in other moments she will change me for the better.

It's been a rough 18 months for me, more so overwhelming. Being responsible for a child, your own, is a moment I have to believe that no one is every fully prepared for. We can nurture them, clothe them, soothe them, LOVE them. But how that affects us in the very "moment" is beyond what words can describe. The most overwhelming part of it is, is knowing that I am responsible for this little girl, I'm responsible for eternal progression in this life, I am responsible for making sure she is a kind, loving, decent person. I am responsible for her happiness. So when does that stop? when do we start treating them like adults? when do we simply stop providing for their happiness and guide them to seeking their own? my answer, as mothers, we don't!

Being a mother has helped me see things differently, more than I ever could. Heavenly Father blessed me at this time with such and extraordinary spirit and beauty. He has indeed entrusted me with her spirit, her life, her heart. I am so grateful for the moment that has changed me, and even though I am slowly catching up with fully understanding the meaning behind God's tender mercies, I probably won't ever know the full extent until I have that talk with Him above some day.

Happy 1&1/2 Birthday my Lovely Zoee! YOU are extraordinary. I could not be more proud, more humbled, and more thrilled!