Beautiful Spirits...

It's OFFICIAL :)

I'M PREGNANT!!

with baby #2 :)

Honestly, it almost feels like it was just yesterday that I gave birth to Zoee (our eldest daughter) and held her in my arms. So small and so beautiful she was, and how much more beautiful she is now and becoming :)

Zoee on the day she was born, monday, August 8, 2011

Zoee, 7 months, March 31, 2011

I can't beleive how fast time is going and just how fast my litle baby girl is actually becoming a LITTLE GIRL. Zoee has brought so much love and joy to our lives, and we're so grateful that she is the first child and that she is the very one who will be the example for her younger siblings.

After having Zoee, and now being pregnant again with our second baby, I have realized just how much Heavnely Father loves me, and just how aware He is of the things that we need in our lives. I cannot even count on a million hands how much love Zoee brings to Havea and I. We are sooooooo blessed and privilidged to be responsible for such a beautiful spirit.

With the adventure of being pregnant again this time around, I have definitely seen things different and opposite from my pregnancy with Zoee. It's funny to say, but I have a feeling this baby may be a boy. I may be wrong, I may be right, but whomever the Lord feels He would like to come down at the time, with open arms Havea and I will be grateful and soooo excited :)

Starting a family is a lot of work, and I know the load will continue to get bigger, but I am so grateful for the gospel and for the guidelines it gives us to rear our children in a way that is pleasing to our Father in Heaven, and the guidelines that will not only help them but help me as a mother. I see me bring pregnant again is a whole new experience a whole new adventure, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother again.

I love my family so very much and pray that I will be the mother I know Heavenly Father knows I can be, and the mother I want to be to my children.

So grateful for this opportunity to have more learning and growing experiences :)

Don't Judge Me.......

The word's of President Uchtdorf's message left a great impact on my heart as he explained the message of a bumper sticker that read:

"Don't judge me...

...because I sin differently than you"

I couldn't help but remember these words for they engraved themselves on my heart that I could not believe that the answer to many prayers were apparent within these words.

For many years, I have struggled with so many people, and have struggled because I let the things they say, the things they do, GET to me. I have in desperate times, often cried and asked the Lord, "why me?" or simply "why them?" I am somewhat uncomfortable admitting my weaknesses, but I feel that only admitting them will help me overcome them. I have been jealous, mean, rude, a smart-allec, unkind, judgmental, wanting pity, selfish, and negative. Having these things in my life and realizing that I have had these feelings or have done these actions made me think, "can having these things in my life make me happy?" the answer is simply "NO"

President Uchtdorf mentioned other things as well and said "if we have any of these feelings or participate in any of these things..." he urged us to

"STOP IT!"

To stop these things from letting them get the best of us, the best of our kindness, the best of our good judgment, the best of what we know we can be, and the best of who we KNOW we are. We are children of our Heavenly Father who indeed has a mission and a will for us, to accomplish His work and be partakers of the blessings that come from choosing the right. A Father in Heaven who cares, knows and loves us deeply and hurts when we hurt, and comforts when we need comfort. In order to feel of His comfort and peace, I have had to let Heavenly Father help me get over the things I have been feelings and recognize the real reason for my anger and realize the anger was simply being hurt. I hope and pray with all of my heart that I will be a strong example of forgiveness to my children and generations to come that they may know that the Lord can heal, can strengthen and make new any person willing to subject to the will of the Lord. 

I am grateful for this conference and for the beautiful words in which I have heard to help me make anew the things that I need to, to have a better understanding of the Lord's will for me, and to go forth and live up to the values that I have been taught and given. 

Sisters...

I know that I have probably posted about this subject before, however I feel so strongly to write about it again. I have been blessed with such wonderful sisters. I have two blood sisters, Whitney and Rachel and so many adoptive sisters, (too many to name). Call me selfish, but I have always, always wanted a best friend, someome to talk to when times were tough, someone to listen to when their lives were hard. Someone to comfort me. For the most part, I never realized that my Sisters have always been there.

Last night, my Sister Whitney and I were out and about getting items to make for dinner. Even though for the last four year we have not been close, we have not shared experiences, she KNOWS me better than ANYONE, because she's my sister.

"Sisters are a gift to the heart

a friend to the spirit

a golden thread to the meaning of life"

Isadora James

My sister was talking about some things that have/or are currently going on in her life, and I couldn't help but think of my past and how back then her situation now was/is so similar to mine back then. I couldn't help myself to forget or even put behind me what has happened, however the feelings of hurt, relation or anger started to stir in me, and she pointed out to me that I was not happy. Being hard to admitt, she was very right. She pointed out that I was not allotted the healing time I needed to get over the things that I had done, but rather made beautiful and great choices in my life that would bring anyone happiness, however because I had not healed from previous experiences I didn't even know how to fully enjoy the beautiful and good choices I have made thus far because I am so broken from my past. After a good talk with my husband and expressing to him my feelings, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and he reminded me of the love he has for me and for our future and family. He is truly the best man and the only man I have ever truly loved and will love for the rest of my life and all eternity. He is the first good choice that I have ever made in my life, and how grateful I am to have him.

I can't tell you that by the simple things she had said, with not even having a moment like this in the last four years, she hit the spot on my feelings dead-on with every single thing she said. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father loved/loves me enough to send a woman like her into my life, to be there for me, to remind me, to mourn with me, to listen, to converse, to nurture, I am just so grrateful for her and for the love that she showed me last night. I am so grateful for her and to have her back home, reunited with our famliy and more herself again.

I thank my Heavenly Father for my sister, and for her reminding me of the good things that I have done, and tells me to forget the bad things. Even though I am older, her words of wisdom brought the most comfort to me than I have felt for a long time.

I love my sisters...

Rachel, Whitney and Me

Valentines Day!

I couldn't believe how many posts on Facebook I saw that had most of all of my friends with bitter thoughts about Valentines Day. Needless to say, I took a step back and really, really humbled myself, because a single person I was, not so long ago, and the feelings of this holiday made me very, very jealous. I have realized and later leanred that Valentines Day is not only about lovers and mates, it is so much more, it's the day we celebrate LOVE.

Do you remember running down to Target or the grocery store right near the end of January beginning February and asking your mom or dad if you could by the card set of 30 with some lolipops to give to friends and famliy for Valentines Day? Remember these?

Well, I do, and did! I was so excited to stick the lolipops through the cards and hand them to friends around the neighborhood, or my cousins, and so forth. They were just so much fun! and the looks on everyone's faces, made me feel so loved just to see that they appreciated their card and candy :) Getting them back was even more fun too.

Havea and I celebrated our Valentines Day that Saturday. We went to one our most favorite and very affordable Mexican Restaurants and followed by a movie. It was a yes, oh-so-typical date, but it was nice to have time together and reconnect with a lot of things. Sometimes just those few hours can make all the difference for you and your spouse, or even a loved one or friend. Just spending time and being reminded that you can celebrate the people you have in your life and love, is something that I treasure and LOVE about Valentines Day. It's the day to remember to Love, sad we need such a day to remember, when we should be showing extra special love, EVERYDAY of the year. 

FEBRUARY IS ALMOST OVER......

Sad, the month of LOVE is almost over, that doesn't mean I can't pretend that next month shouldn't be full of LOVE, right? Well, sorry, it's better late than never, I've been so occupied with a lot of things lately. Anyhow, I'm excited to say that I feel that I have overcome an obstacle to help me be more clear about my life and future. It's the pivotal moment that helps you understand that the small things that you do to make things just that much more perfect, sometimes do and don't matter, I've learned that I've had to pick the "right" small things. I've realized more and more each day how much my daughter brings me joy. How much my husband loves me, and how much more I need to take the special moments to reciprocate that love to them.

I am so into this new book, well, it's not quite new to most of ALL the world, but it's new to me. About a couple years ago, my good friend was taking a class in college learning about the behaviors of men and women, and in her class, this book was recommended and she told me about it. It has always been in the back of my mind, but was brought more to my attention recently. The book is entitled, "The 5 Love Languages"  by Gary Chapman. As I read this book, I feel more and more why some of the things that I do, showing my love are not in turn taken as a token of my love for those whom I show love to... but I've noticed that my husband and daughter are so patient with me and let me show them love in the way I show/receive love. More so, I know that if I learn how they indeed receive love, our relationships will be that much stronger. I'm so excited to get into this book more and more and look forward to the things that I will find. This book and www.datingdivas.com has got my prescription on a wonderful marriage, a wonderful loving relationship with my husband, children and those all around me.

ZOEE

I absolutely love my little girl, and how grateful and blessed I am to have a little lady that brings me so much joy, so much comfort and is the constant reminder of Heavenly Father's love for me. I'm so grateful for a healthy baby girl and for her spirit that not only touches my heart, but the hearts of all those who come in contact with her! She is my pride, my light, my joy and love! :) 

Always Smiling :)

Being SHY

Hands in the mouth... always

Pulling on her bow

Not Giving Up.......

This year has brought many things, one of which is, a very humbling experience. The saying goes true: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you' [accepting that they may not always do unto you what you would want them to do]" I really hope that made sense, the last part of that [quote] was my own, but I have and am continuing to be humbled as to why people are the way they are and accepting that I cannot change the people around me, I can only change myself.

I know that I am not the only one going through obstacles, who has problems, who is going through a little more over their head, however, I at this very moment, why do I feel so alone? My wonderful counselor and the one and only other person I trust (besides my Hubby) is my Mother. She is been the only one who has helped me to see the end of the race, to see the beginning of the journey and to help me through the obstacles as they come. Venting and talking with her has helped me not only get a lot of things on my mind out, however helped me realize that my biggest problem is being impatient. So, coming to that realization, I have told myself that I am NOT GIVING UP!

I will report more as time passes, but this is just a blah day in which I needed to get my thoughts and feelings out.